Hello half time..

That's what I heard for the majority of the day followed by a series of random questions. More importantly borderline retarted questions I would expect from kindergartners. For instance if
I answer the phone and say "hello half time" you would give me a question and I would give you information back pertaining to your question, right? Well today I answered the phone just like I do everyday and the woman replied "hi is this pepsi?" By instinct I wanted to hang up the phone and be rude but my manager was standing next to me so I couldn't. So I politely told her it wasn't and she was on her way. Guess not.

No less than 20 minutes later the phone rings again so I answer it and on the other end I am given the same question. ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS!!!!? I felt like doing a Lewis Black routine with the stupidity I was listening to on the other end. So my manager looks at me and can tell it was the same person by the way my jaw was on the floor and by now I didn't give a shit. So I asked her if I said this was pepsi. 'No'. Did ou call here before and ask for pepsi? 'Yes' So you get the point that this is not the number for pepsi? 'Yes'. Okay good, now stop wasting my time.

I could only imagine her face on the other end. It had to be one of those "how dare you speak to me that way" with a very appalled tone of voice.

Did anyone out there see the U.S. Open today where Phil Mickelson completly fell apart at the seams and blow his lead. What a quack. They made the biggest deal about how this would be his second major championship if he played like he did yesterday. Well g-unit didn't play like he did yesterday. If it was up to me to determine why he lost, it was his bitch tits that were getting in the way.

There's no way to not look at them whenever they show him walking down the course because they grab your attention like a crack whore on main st. It's too bad the man never had an acting career, he could've had to opportunity with kramer to market the bro. He would be equivalent to the CK ads for underwear. Damn. What a bad day for that guy.

I figure I should write this down before I forget completly, it's a good one. This is something you will deal with whenever you are not at your own house (i.e. a party). I was in the bathroom today at work taking a wiz and someone knocked on the door while I was in there.

Now this is something that has always put me in a dilemma, mostly with my brain to mouth function. What is the appropriate thing to say in this situation? Is it the quick shout of 'WHAT?' or the more relaxed 'I'll be out in a minute'? Well today I went with the non-traditional 'being used' statement. Who the Hell says that while they have their schlong in their hand? It was wierd but it's just one of those things that should have a proper etiquite answer to. What do you normally say?

Mikes is hard, so is prison, don't drink and drive.

Two days in a row cominayeaahhhh! Don't my three readers feel lucky to read my wit two days in a row. Get used to it, it will probably be happening more often. I love watching the history channel no matter what time of the day it is. It's just loaded with cool stuff no matter what time becasue it's the same thing all the time. Personally I'm a fan of alot of the war time stuff and the modern marvels. But I still am your normal college student who enjoys mindless MTV.

MTV has this new show called the hills and I can't help but to just break out laughing at the stupidity of alot of the characters on the show. It's set in L.A. and is based around L.C. (so hot, so hot) from laguna beach. She seems to be the only one that has some sort of common sense on the show. The only thing people on the show want to do is be famous and deal with celebrities and live the jetset life all of the time. To me that's straight up sad. There is one girl who got a job at some sort of agency that plans parties and all that hoopla and as soon as she got the job she stopped going to school thinking she would be head of the company. WRONG BITCH! Instead they've got this girl running errands, taking messages and all the rest of the bitch work. It just goes to show how dumb some people really are. L.A. does not seem all that more glamorous than NYC.

I wonder what it would be like to win the olympics?

An affair? That's so adult!

I love the way that Seinfeld, no matter what the circumstance, is always truthful about life in ways we don't want to admit. All of the situations on that show are everyday happenings that are just elaborated on with what we really want to say in those situations but don't because of embarrassment. Well screw those people. You only live once do whatever you want. Embarrass yourself daily, put money on a fishing line and mess around with the old people, do whatever you want that makes you happy. Just don't end up being an existentialist, because that just goes to show you really don't give a hoot about anything or anyone but yourself.

I don't really know why but for some reason I feel the need to spell some words like a british man. Mainly the words colour and withe. Theres no reason for it, it just kinds happens. If my supervisor can go around the warehouse talking like Dane Cook at all times, then I think I should be allowed to type how I want to.

Since I've come back home from school there has been one thing that has become more obvious. PEOPLE CANNOT DRIVE!!! Everyone drives immorally slow, no one bothers to looke when they pull into traffic, or passing you, tailgating seems to be the new thing to do nowadays, in general, people cannot drive. And women certainly are worse without a doubt I don't care what they think. But the only woman that can drive is Danica and unless you're a woman that looks like her, then you probably can't drive. I bring this up because I rear ended a woman in an SUV last week (no worse combination). Oh yea. Big ups to me. Turns out this lady does not like to pull into traffic unless she has all 3 lanes of the highway clear so she can pull out. Well she began to move so I turned around to check the road and by god you could have fit the entire red army in this gap between traffic and as I start to turn around I felt the impact. I hit her maybe doing 2 or 3 miles an hour with my foot still on the brake and this lady was throwing a shit fit about her leased vehicle. She had no right I was the one with the fucked up hood and she had a scratch on her bumper the size of an ant.

I really hate Barry Bonds and all of his gay San Francisco fans with a passion. They make the biggest deal about this guy passing Babe Ruth in the all-time home run standing when the asshole had to cheat to do it. And the worst part is that he won't admit to it saying that they weren't illegal. I'd love for him to come to yankee stadium just so I can throw some syringes on the field for the guy.

Clarkey I got some news for you, your girl milla has got nothing on kate beckinsale. NOTHING!!

This was way overdue.